


Changing Landscapes

by toffiendfee



Category: Initial D
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Flower Language, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, it's not that terribly graphic but i think current times warrant that tag just to be safe, making Takumi suffer 2k20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:40:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27441331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toffiendfee/pseuds/toffiendfee
Summary: It's winter when Takumi feels the first tickle in his throat, and it's spring when he finally has to face what that means.
Relationships: Fujiwara Takumi/Takahashi Keisuke, Fujiwara Takumi/Takahashi Ryousuke
Comments: 6
Kudos: 39





	Changing Landscapes

**Author's Note:**

> Phew! Writing this was a wild ride. I was hit with a sudden strong burst of inspiration (sparked by [this amazing series](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1982761) by sailorAE86) and suddenly found myself writing that third Hanahaki fic I promised you guys ages ago. It's not connected to the other two oneshots, though - no, this is an entirely different incarnation of Takumi suffering. Hanahaki also works differently in this universe, but you'll see that soon.
> 
> I got overzealous and even drew art to go with this, but I'm still not sure whether to add it in. I'll probably need to sleep over that decision for a night.  
> EDIT: Okay, one day later and I've decided I'm not happy enough with the drawing to embed it into the story somewhere, but here's a [link](https://toffiendfee.tumblr.com/post/634213099811012608/this-is-the-full-picture-from-that-story-post) to where I posted it to tumblr, if you want to check it out.
> 
> That all said, I hope you enjoy! Maybe leave me a comment if you find the time, and stay safe.

Takumi stares at Ryousuke's back as the other walks away, and then follows with his eyes as the white car leaves the gas station and drives off. A small cough escapes him. It's the middle of cold season, so Takumi doesn't think much of it. He stares at the slip of paper in his hands.

Ryousuke Takahashi wants him to join his new team.

Takumi searches for a way to react to this new information, but he comes up with none. He puts the slip of paper away and returns to his friends who are still gaping at what has just transpired. His face feels oddly warm, and he coughs again.

 _Weird_ , he thinks and tries not to dwell on it too much. He'll deal with thinking about this choice later, when there's no friends hounding him and no work to be done.

(He doesn't exactly succeed.)

It seems to be a pretty persistent cold he has caught this time, but apart from coughing, slightly heated cheeks, and the occasional headache it doesn't seem too bad. He doesn't even get a stuffy nose. No reason to stay home for, so he continues going to work and doing the deliveries even though he _logically_ knows that he should get one, two days of rest to get rid of a lingering illness. Takumi is nothing if not stubborn though, and after all, it's just a cold.

And he seems to be proven right about that when, after a week or so, the headache and mild fever go away again. The cough stays with him, but Takumi wasn't too concerned about that. It's nothing more than an occasional itch in his throat. He's had that in the past. It should go away after a few weeks at most.

In early spring, when the Project officially starts, the cough is still there. In fact, it gets worse again, especially during team meetings. Takumi thinks by now that ignoring it might have been a mistake, but now he's less willing than ever to take a break. Ryousuke wants him and Keisuke to get used to each other's driving and be on the same page before the actual races start, and that means practise, practise, practise. It's new to Takumi to take something this seriously. He doesn't have _time_ to take a break.

The coughing is annoying at worst, and the itch in his throat wanes once he drinks something. It's all still easy to ignore considering that Takumi has far more pressing things to worry about.

Things like how to get along with the strangers he calls his teammates now. He didn't see the mechanics before, and he only vaguely remembers Fumihiro, who seems to be the spokesperson basically, and Kenta Nakamura, who he raced that one time but doesn't remember much about other that he seems to be hanging around Keisuke a lot.

Which brings him to the real root of his worries, because while mostly everyone is various levels of civil or even nice to him, the Takahashi brothers are a bit of a different story.

Ryousuke is hard to talk to, which is nothing new. Even without a constantly dry throat, Takumi would have problems getting words out around him. He's an admirable person, and Takumi can't help feeling flustered when his attention lands on him. Takumi is pretty sure Ryousuke has noticed that as well with how smart he is and all. He's told him several times something along the lines of _'if you have any concerns, do not hesitate to tell me; after all, we are working together now; there should be nothing holding you back from confiding in me'_ and the likes. And he's right, probably. In Takumi's eyes, it still doesn't make him any more approachable. They barely know each other, after all.

And Keisuke… Well, when he isn't actively avoiding Takumi, he's probably even harder to talk to. Where Ryousuke is cool and professional, his younger brother makes no secret out of the fact that he doesn't like Takumi very much and only tolerates him because of his skills. That's what it looks like to Takumi, at least, given that Keisuke usually seems to be leering at him and then pointedly looking away when he's spotted.

So, really, Takumi has more pressing issues than a dry throat. If he's supposed to spend a year around these people, he should really work on getting to know them better.

It's the middle of spring now, and the past days have been pleasantly warm. Today is different: It's drizzling a little and the air has cooled down. Nevertheless, the team is still meeting up on Mt. Akagi. Ryousuke wants them to do a test drive under these more difficult conditions.

They don't worry Takumi at all. He delivers tofu during weather like this all the time. Shooting a glance over at Keisuke tells him that this is practically routine for him, too. But their mechanics are deeply involved in conversation about the cars and technical details that Takumi does not yet understand.

He decides that he doesn't want to wait out in the rain until they're done and seeks shelter under the foliage of a large tree. It isn't long until Keisuke joins him there. They both remain silent because they still don't really have much to talk about. Takumi thinks so, at least. Keisuke still seems pissed at him for not knowing as much about his car as he should in his eyes. Takumi can _drive_ it, though, and that used to be enough.

But he knows that he has a lot more to learn if he's really going to go professional. That's what he's here for, after all: To learn those things from Ryousuke.

The annoying itch in his throat is back again, and he coughs a bit into his elbow. He can see Keisuke shooting him a glance out of the corner of his eye. Takumi half-expects some sort of remark, but Keisuke looks away again, over to where the mechanics are working.

Takumi tries to suppress his second cough, but he isn't very successful. Keisuke's eyes shoot back to him, brows furrowed.

"You better not get sick now," he says.

How considerate, Takumi thinks wryly. As if he has any influence on that.

"Just a sore throat," he says out loud. A pretty persistent case of sore throat, but tea mixed with some honey has so far been very helpful. Keisuke gives him a long look, then shrugs and looks away again.

For how he stopped Takumi on Akina that one morning and asked him to join him in becoming professional racers, he really doesn't seem all that enthusiastic about Takumi being here now.

Takumi stubbornly swallows down the urge to cough again and takes a big sip from his water bottle. It's going to be a long night, and Keisuke's dismissive behaviour isn't going to stop him from doing his best. He is going to prove that he deserves to be part of this team, whether Keisuke likes it or not.

Two weeks after that practise meeting, things suddenly take a turn for the worse. By "things" Takumi mainly means the weird cough that has been bothering him for months now. He got used to it, which is probably why he didn't notice earlier how strange it was that it was still sticking around so long after the original 'cold.'

It happens after he and Keisuke spent the better part of the night memorising every little detail about the pass where they'll be racing against the local team in a week. The whole team, including Takumi, is standing next to one of the vans and talking about the course, the stats of the cars, the upcoming race. Takumi, as usual, listens silently to the conversation, not having much to add himself.

Apparently, the project is getting more renowned what with the webpage having been set up and announcing their next planned races. Takumi thinks Fumihiro is the one managing it, but to be entirely honest, he has only glimpsed at it once so far and doesn't have much knowledge about such things. He doesn't even have a computer at home, after all.

Anyway, some more dedicated fans are starting to show up at the practise meetings, too. Mostly just to watch, which Takumi is easily able to ignore, but occasionally there are also girls who probably aren't there to see them racing, judging by the way they try to attract their attention. Keisuke's and Ryousuke's attention, to be exact (although to Takumi's mild horror, at their last race he heard his own name being screeched just as loudly. Keisuke had snickered at his expression and told him to better get used to it).

This time, they had left them alone for the most part. But Fumihiro brings it up in conversation, anyway, asking Ryousuke whether they should wait with publishing the locations until shortly before the actual race to keep the number of spectators during training to a minimum.

"I don't think it would make much of a difference," Ryousuke says, calm as ever. "Word spreads fast with or without the website, and we will not be able to completely stop this from occurring. And besides," he continues, giving Takumi a lingering glance that immediately tears the latter out of his momentary trance, "It shouldn't be much of a problem. In fact, I think it could be beneficial to train under these conditions and get used to blending out possible distractions."

Takumi hears Keisuke scoff next to him. "I thought we were past that point already."

"It's better to adapt to what we cannot change," comes Ryousuke's answer. Takumi believes immediately that someone like him wouldn't get distracted by fangirls, ever. He doesn't seem like the type who would let anything unrelated to his goals capture his attention.

Takumi finds himself thinking of Natsuki, who was now in Tokyo and hopefully doing well. Their split hadn't been as painful as he had feared. They are on amicable terms now, although they don't chat quite as often as Natsuki had promised. Still, Takumi can't imagine her as anything other than a friend ever again. That chapter is over.

His mind is now occupied with other things, anyway. Maybe he should do it like Ryousuke and try to blend everything unimportant out.

The urge to cough hits him out of nowhere this time. He quickly turns away from the others and covers his face with his arm as the coughs and hacks break free. They sound a lot less small and harmless than the dry coughs of the last few months. Takumi feels an ache in his throat as his lungs try to expel whatever has triggered the attack. With another wet hack, something slick and solid lands on Takumi's tongue. He grimaces and, on reflex, quickly swallows it down. The itch is finally gone, and he turns back to the rest of the team only to see that they're all staring at him with varying levels of concern, minus the two brothers who are frowning instead.

"Is everything alright, Fujiwara?" Ryousuke asks with his brows just slightly furrowed on his otherwise neutral expression.

"Yeah," Takumi quickly rasps and waves it off. "Everything's fine."

"Are you sure?" Keisuke's voice is sharp and his stare piercing. "Didn't sound very fine to me."

"No, really, it's nothing," Takumi insists.

"I agree with Keisuke-san. That didn't sound very good. Maybe you should take a break and rest a bit," Matsumoto, Takumi's mechanic, offers. He sounds a bit worried, and Takumi thinks that it couldn't possibly have been that bad. _'So close before the race?'_ he thinks and wants to decline immediately, but Ryousuke speaks up before he can.

"We are finished here for today, anyway. Fujiwara, I suggest that you indeed give yourself some rest before next week's race. Everything else should be taken care of, so you won't have to worry about missing out on something," he says. His tone is finite, so Takumi knows he shouldn't even bother to argue. He sighs and nods.

Ryousuke seems to be satisfied with that reaction and wishes him a good night before turning his attention elsewhere.

"Now, Tomiguchi, again about that one measurement reading we were talking about earlier…"

Takumi turns around and walks back to his car, planning to finally go home and get some sleep. The others were probably right. Maybe he just needed some rest and it would all sort itself out.

In leaving, he still feels Keisuke's stare on his back. The other was probably pissed at him for daring to get sick.

Well, it was a good thing then that Takumi wasn't actually sick. There was no need to make a fuss. At home, he would immediately fall into his bed and once he woke up, he would have forgotten about all of that.

Unfortunately, life wasn't that merciful this time.

Takumi wakes up the next morning with a new ache in his throat that won't go away. His dad looks at him dubiously when he has a prompt coughing fit upon coming down the stairs.

Great. Another person who thinks he's getting sick.

Takumi makes himself some tea with honey and thanks the heavens that at least he doesn't have work today.

That evening, he receives a call from an unexpected person.

"Takumi! Phone!" his dad yells from downstairs, and Takumi finds the receiver shoved into his hands before he can even ask who is on the other end of the line.

"Hello?"

"Ah, Fujiwara," Ryousuke's familiar deep voice comes out of the speaker. "It's good to hear from you."

As if they didn't see each other just yesterday, Takumi thinks confusedly. Just because they have each other's phone number it doesn't mean that they would call each other often. Why would Takumi want to call Ryousuke out of nowhere? Or, the more pressing issue right now, why would Ryousuke call Takumi out of nowhere?

"I was meaning to ask how you are feeling today, but judging from the sound of your voice, you still seem to have a bit of a sore throat," Ryousuke promptly answers the unasked question.

Takumi blinks at the calendar on the wall above the telephone, unseeingly.

"Uh… yeah, but I'll be fine," he finally brings himself to say. He can feel himself blushing a bit, which is terrible because he used to think that only talking to Ryousuke face-to-face had that effect on him.

"That's good," Ryousuke says, fortunately unable to see him through the phone. "Perhaps continue to take it easy for the week nonetheless. Cough drops should help."

"Uh… Thank you. I'll try that."

"Good. I hope you'll feel better soon. We will see each other on Saturday."

"Yeah," Takumi says, mind overrun with too many questions to count. "Until then."

"Until then. Goodbye, Fujiwara, and take care."

Ryousuke hangs up, and Takumi only really notices once he hears the beeping from the other end of the line. He then quickly hangs up as well because he can almost feel that his dad has been listening from the living room. Otherwise Takumi would have taken a few more seconds standing there silently with the receiver in his hand and wondering.

Ryousuke was probably concerned about the possibility of having to reschedule the race. Takumi understands that would be much of a hassle, so he tells himself to take some cough drops just to be sure.

He rushes back up the stairs to the bathroom where their medicine is stored. He can already feel the itch to cough rising again.

_'There it is again,'_ Takumi thinks as he stands in front of the sink. Something slick, silky, and soft on his tongue, something that must have come up his throat together with his coughs. Ew.

But it feels weird, like a foreign object, and Takumi plucks it off his tongue with his fingers to see –

A… petal?

Sticking to his fingers, limp and slickened by his saliva, is a single white flower petal. It's of medium size and has a bit of an oval shape, but Takumi doesn't have much of a mind to take in those details. It's undeniably a flower petal, and he just coughed it up. He's heard of this before – honestly, who hasn't?

But maybe, he thinks uncertainly, maybe it's just a mistake. Maybe he accidentally managed to swallow a petal that then got lodged at the back of his throat – after all, it's spring outside. There are lots of flowers around.

He bites his bottom lip and washes the petal down the sink.

Now for those cough drops…

To Takumi's immense relief, there are no more petals for the next few days that would have forced him to confront certain things. Saturday comes faster than expected, and fortunately the throatache is almost gone as well. Everything's normal and fine, and Takumi gets into the Eight-Six not thinking about anything other than the race ahead of him.

As usual, he is the last one to arrive. Everyone else is already caught up in preparations, and even the galleries are slowly filling even though it's still a few hours until the actual race is scheduled to start.

Fumihiro is the first one to spot him and comes over as Takumi is parking his car.

"Hello, Fujiwara! You're just in time!" He laughs, but when Takumi gets out of the car, his expression turns more serious and he asks, "How are you feeling?"

"Good," says Takumi and leaves it at that.

Fumihiro, who already knows that he doesn't like to talk much, only nods, gives him a short smile, and points him to where Ryousuke is currently talking to Keisuke.

Takumi finds his steps to be a bit more hesitant than usual as he walks towards the brothers. Keisuke spots him first and says something to Ryousuke that causes them both to look at him approaching.

"Fujiwara," Ryousuke greets him and smiles pleasantly. "We were just reviewing the opponents' stats another time before starting the next few runs. Come join us."

Keisuke looks less happy as Takumi follows his brother's instruction and steps into their circle (not that it's much of a circle when there's only two people, so he guesses he steps into a line instead). He is wearing his usual frown, even though the first thing he asks is, "Are you feeling better today?"

"I was never feeling bad," Takumi mumbles, a bit miffed by the fact that Keisuke seems to be offended by him falling sick. Although of course he wasn't actually sick in the first place. Really, he wonders why Keisuke wanted him to join this team if he was going to be an asshole about it the whole time.

Ryousuke cuts off his train of thoughts by asking him to look at today's opponents who were standing at a distance next to their cars and make an assessment about how he thinks they would be tackling the course tonight. It's a difficult question, difficult enough to make Takumi completely ignore the renewed itch in his throat.

They win that night; of course they do. Their opponents aren't much of a challenge, nothing that Takumi would really get worked up over. But as is tradition by now, the entire team goes to a nearby restaurant for a little victory celebration.

Takumi doesn't mind that tradition as much now that he knows the others a little bit better than in the very beginning when all was still new for him. They are nice people, well, most of them. He even mostly gets along with Kenta now. Kenta actually reminds him of Itsuki a bit. He often wonders why Keisuke, who already seems so easily annoyed by everyone, keeps the guy around.

Well, it's not like people didn't often wonder why Takumi and Itsuki were friends, so he guesses he can't judge.

"You were great today, Keisuke-san, Fujiwara-kun," Fumihiro says and raises his glass for a small toast.

"Yeah, it was awesome!" Kenta promptly agrees and grins at Keisuke, who takes in the praise with visibly pleased composure. Soon Matsumoto and Tomiguchi are also joining in, talking about how well everything worked out this time and about what could be done mechanically to allow them to be even faster in future races.

But Takumi glances over at Ryousuke who watches the commotion silently. It's his approval that Takumi wants to win the most. After all, it's him who recruited him for his project, who gave him the opportunity to hone his skills and learn from the best.

As if hearing his thoughts, Ryousuke turns his head and meets Takumi's eyes. A small smile lifts the corners of his mouth, and Takumi fears that he can't help but stare a little. Ryousuke is as economical with his smiles as he is with his praise, and Takumi feels a warm sensation settle somewhere in his stomach whenever the other gives either of those things.

Takumi has to look away after a moment because he feels like the eye contact is becoming too awkward, but the image is already etched into his memory.

He has done well today. Ryousuke thinks so, too.

A sudden tickle in his throat catches his attention. _'Not again,'_ he thinks, the prior happiness immediately replaced by a feeling of dread. He doesn't want to have an attack in front of all the others again, so he stands up, a bit too quickly, and excuses himself to the bathroom.

"Don't take too long, or your food will be gone by the time you're back," he hears Keisuke call after him, but he only pays half attention. He is too focused on trying to keep down the urge to cough in the middle of the restaurant, not that it's too full at this time of the night. But the others are not supposed to know that the cough is still there. He doesn't want to weather their reactions a second time.

He stumbles into the bathroom, hands gripping the ceramic sink, and he lets go.

Coughs spill from his mouth, and among them, something that doesn't belong into his body but is there anyway. A familiar-looking white petal lands in the sink, then another one.

Takumi inhales a shaky breath before the next heavy cough comes and brings with it more petals, more testaments to the fact that he has been foolishly naïve to believe that the first petal had only been a fluke.

No, he hasn't been naïve… He has been in denial.

The coughs slowly subside, and thankfully there are no more petals for now, either. Takumi tries to catch his breath and looks up into the bathroom mirror. The reality looks back at him: He stares into his own eyes which are puffy and red. He didn't even notice that he started crying at some point.

Another deep, shaky breath and Takumi washes the petals down the drain and splashes some cold water into his face. He hopes it won't be too obvious that he was crying in here.

When he returns to the table, his food has gotten cold.

"I'm tired," he answers to the inevitable question why he's looking like that. He doesn't dare to look any of the others in the eyes, especially not Ryousuke. He isn't sure whether he will ever be able to do that again. Hanahaki disease is considered shameful and a sign of weakness, and it's the last thing Takumi wants people to know about him.

Takumi can almost feel Ryousuke's calculating gaze on him as he shovels the cold food into his mouth. But he can't let him know what is happening. Ryousuke needs him to race, and he doesn't want to disappoint anyone, much less the one who depends on his wins.

And after all, there is still the chance that the petals leave on their own.

The don't seem to have any hurry to do that, though. Two weeks later, Takumi still finds himself plagued by infrequent harsh coughing fits that seem to come with more and more petals each time. Takumi wonders where all of these petals can even come from without having suffocated him yet. He's not suffocating, but he has already noticed at work that he gets out of breath far more quickly than before.

Hanahaki tends to progress slowly, which is the only consoling bit of information Takumi knows of. Everything else doesn't give him much hope. The flowers that have taken root in his lungs will keep growing and keep making it more difficult to breathe. The coughing fits are only going to get worse. People have died of suffocation because the plants took up too much space.

And worst of all, of course: There was no real cure.

The only reliable way to get rid of Hanahaki was to get rid of its cause: Unrequited feelings of love for someone. If that couldn't be done, the only way to survive with the disease was to regularly undergo surgery to have the flowers removed – but as long as the feelings remained, they would always return.

It would be really helpful, Takumi thinks, if he even knew _who_ he was coughing up petals for. Hanahaki could be caused by both romantic and platonic love, which didn't make it any easier to narrow down.

Takumi's first thoughts immediately went to Natsuki, but he's still pretty certain that he's over that, at least romantically. Platonically, he doesn't think that his feelings of friendship were unrequited and strong enough to cause Hanahaki.

Who else could it be, though?

Some old folktales tell of Hanahaki as being the curse of a lovesick goddess, and according to them, the type of flower one has growing in their lungs symbolises the connection and nature of feelings one has for their object of affection.

Takumi decides he might as well try and see if that can give him a hint. He's also heard of people dying because the flowers in their lungs were poisonous, so it's probably smart to at least find out what exactly is growing there.

So Takumi visits the local library to do some research where his dad can't see him. His choice of books earns him a long look from the librarian who probably deduced what his problem is, but two hours later, Takumi has his answer: The petals are from a daffodil.

He can't tell what kind exactly, but it doesn't matter that much. The meaning stays the same. Daffodils literally symbolize unrequited love, which doesn't tell Takumi anything he doesn't already know. But they can also stand for uncertainty, new beginnings, respect, or chivalry. And given as a gift to someone, they can mean "Please return my affection."

Well. That's just a huge bunch of empty phrases to Takumi and doesn't help him much. Maybe he's just not good enough at interpreting metaphors, or those folktales are full of crap.

At least he knows now that he won't die from being poisoned.

The knowledge that the flowers aren't poisonous doesn't do anything against the coughing, though. By now, pretty much everyone around him has remarked on his coughing fits at least once, and neither cough drops nor tea with honey really help anymore.

And still he tries to solve the puzzle of who exactly he's coughing up flowers for. The only crush he ever had was on Natsuki, so he doesn't have much reference to compare the current situation to. And even then, he was never trying to repress whatever feelings he had towards Natsuki. Hanahaki is mainly caused by _repressed_ emotions, which is why it's so often associated with forbidden love. It's a favourite trope of several current TV dramas, not that Takumi would watch those.

Of course, despite his worsening condition, he continues to show up at the meetings with Project.D despite the fact that he still dreads them finding out the most. He can't exactly cancel all the time without them deducing that something is wrong with him, though, so that alone is reason enough to show up. Aside from that, he simply doesn't want to let those darn petals sabotage everything he does. Nothing has changed about his aspirations to learn and become a better driver.

The next race against an opposing team is already scheduled, of course. By now challenges are pretty much rushing in from left and right if he has overheard Fumihiro and Ryousuke correctly. Everyone, it seems, wants to race him and Keisuke. Takumi has to admit that it does make him a bit nervous. To think that less than a year ago, this would have annoyed him to no end…

It almost starts feeling like routine now. A new challenge, a new course to learn inside and out. Weekend night after weekend night spent in the driver's seat.

Takumi clings to every routine he can get, everything that can take his attention off the daffodils in his lungs.

Unfortunately, that is not so easy when he just can't keep the coughing fits a secret anymore.

Another one is coming up as he is just about to get a coffee from the vending machine to keep him awake during this practise meeting. He quickly walks a bit further away from the rest of the team in the hope that they won't notice too much.

A few petals stick to his palm after he's done, and he stares at them forlornly for a moment. There's no blood yet and no full blossoms, so he's apparently still in the mild first stage of Hanahaki. He honestly asks himself just how much worse it can actually get. His ribs already hurt from all the coughing, and his throat constantly feels like sandpaper.

"Fujiwara."

Takumi flinches and hastily stuffs the hand with the petals into the pocket of his jeans before turning around to face the person he wants to see the least right now.

Keisuke must have walked up to him while he was still distracted, and now he's simply standing there and looking him up and down with narrowed eyes for a moment or two.

"What did you want, Keisuke-san?" Takumi asks as the silence drags on. He winces at how raspy his voice is sounding.

"I just wanted to check on you," Keisuke finally says. Then, "You look horrible, you know that?"

Takumi gives him an unimpressed look. "Gee, thanks."

"I didn't mean that as an insult. I'm just stating the facts. You look like you haven't slept in days."

Takumi shrugs, he doesn't have much of an answer for him. It's true that he slept a lot less lately, if only for the coughs that keep him awake sometimes.

Keisuke's frown intensifies, and Takumi wonders whether he's about to shout at him for something. For not taking this seriously enough, probably.

Instead, his expression relaxes a bit, and he lets out a sigh. His following words come out almost hesitantly, in a way Takumi hasn't heard from him before.

"You really don't look like you're feeling so well. Honestly, you should just talk to aniki about it. Maybe he knows something that can be done." He shrugs. "You know, since he's a medical student and all."

 _'Definitely not,'_ Takumi thinks, and says nothing. Of course, Keisuke doesn't know that his brother is the last person Takumi wants to talk to about this.

Keisuke must have read his silence correctly since he starts frowning again. But before he can say anything, he suddenly pauses and stares at something in Takumi's midsection.

"What's that?"

Takumi looks down at himself and discovers with a falling feeling of dread that there's the edge of a white petal sticking out of his pocket, starkly visible in the dim light of the vending machines.

"Ah…"

Takumi quickly plucks the petal out of his pocket and looks at it as if he had never seen it before. He shrugs, feigning cluelessness.

"Some kind of petal," he says. "Dunno where it comes from."

"Secret admirer, huh?" Keisuke says, sporting a lazy grin.

Takumi shrugs again and crumples the petal, throwing it away. He watches Keisuke follow its path with his eyes.

It's weird, Takumi thinks. This version of Keisuke right now reminds him of what the other had been like on that morning on Akina. _'Join me,'_ that Keisuke had said, and smiled like he really meant it, like he really wanted Takumi to be part of the future he imagined.

Maybe Keisuke really didn't suddenly decide that he does hate Takumi, after all.

Just as he thinks that, Keisuke looks away from the fallen petal and directs his gaze back at him.

"Anyway," he says, "Go and do something about that cough of yours. You've been at it for weeks, and some of the others are starting to ask whether you need a break from racing. You better not give them a reason to worry."

"It's fine," Takumi insists for the xth time. There isn't really anything anyone could even do for him, but unfortunately, he can't explain that to Keisuke.

Keisuke's eyes narrow again. "Sure, go ahead and say that until you break a rib and spin out. I'm doing you a favour, you know. I could have gone straight to aniki with this, but I thought it'd be better for everyone if I let you solve that problem yourself."

"It's not a problem!"

"Yet."

They glare at each other for a moment. Finally, Keisuke scoffs and relents. Or at least Takumi hopes he does.

"Whatever," Keisuke growls and abruptly turns around, walking away. Takumi believes to hear him mumble something under his breath that sounds a lot like "idiot." As Takumi stares after him, he can't shake the feeling that he has just royally messed up.

As if to prove it, he promptly has to double over under a new coughing fit. It hurts even more than the last one.

Two days later, Takumi finds himself sitting in his room on his bed and staring with increasing horror at the petals cluttered in his palms. There are the already familiar white daffodils, but among them are other, different ones, ones that Takumi doesn't recognise. They are long, pointy, and vividly orange.

He has read that Hanahaki disease is sometimes not limited to only one type of flower, but he never expected that to happen to him. He wonders if it means that it will get worse quicker, given that apparently there are now two kinds of flower battling for space in his lungs.

Something tightens in his chest at the thought. How long will he be able to keep this secret from everyone? How long until he will have to get treatment?

The fiery, eye-catching colour of the new petals almost seems like mockery to him. They don't look like they belong to any flower he's seen before. They're so pointy that they almost look sharp, but just like the daffodil petals, they look crumpled and unappealing after making the journey up Takumi's windpipe. There's nothing pretty about them, unlike how the disease is portrayed in the TV dramas that Takumi doesn't watch.

After staring for them for way too long, he tiredly closes his fingers around them and crumples them up more before throwing them in the trash. The trash, he notices, is almost overflowing with petals already. He will have to be a lot more sneaky if he doesn't want his dad to notice. His old man is already giving him looks whenever he's coughing, so he's definitely suspecting that something is wrong. Not that that's surprising in any way.

Takumi sighs, and winces at the pain that the harsh airflow causes his irritated throat.

He just wants this to be over. Why can't this just be over already?

Despite really not feeling like it, Takumi pays another visit to the local library. The books he takes are the same, but at least the librarian is a different one this time. He can probably also guess what Takumi is here for, though.

He doesn't need to search as long as the first time around. The new petals are pretty unusual and exotic, and Takumi ends up identifying them as belonging to something called strelitzia, or bird of paradise flower. Those flowers are native to South Africa and can mean "joy through challenges, faithfulness, gratitude, freedom, and a yearning to travel."

Takumi closes the book with an annoyed huff. The only yearning he has is to get rid of these petals to be able to concentrate on racing again. He knows that his times are getting worse lately, even though no-one outright tells him that. Not even Keisuke, who is acting strangely quiet ever since their last conversation. Or Ryousuke, who, despite usually being so strict with them, doesn't remark on it either. Takumi notices him looking at him sometimes, which gets really unnerving after a while. Ryousuke has a way of inspecting people that feels like being read like a book.

A heavy feeling settles in Takumi's stomach, almost like a premonition. If he's honest with himself, it can be only a matter of time until they all find out. And what could be more demeaning than people knowing he has Hanahaki without even being aware who it's for?

However, a tiny voice in the back of Takumi's mind is steadily getting louder every time he ponders over that question. Takumi doesn't want to listen to it because if it is right, he will have to worry even more about his place on the team.

It must be obvious that he's in pain.

He can taste blood when coughing now, so it will probably not be too long until the first full blossom leaves his throat. The strelitzia petals come more frequently now, not just orange anymore, but sometimes small and a purplish blue. They would look stunning attached to a plant, Takumi is sure.

They look a lot less stunning in Matsumoto's hand.

Takumi must have been careless when cleaning up the interior of the Eight-Six after his last coughing fit.

"Where do these come from?" his mechanic asks him, eyebrows slightly raised.

"Strelitzia," Takumi answers weakly, which isn't really an answer to Matsumoto's question.

The other looks at him for a long moment, probably taking in the paleness of his face and the dark bags under his eyes.

"You…" Matsumoto pauses, apparently unsure how to word what he is going to say next.

"…It's Hanahaki, isn't it?"

Finally, Takumi hears the question he has dreaded so much during the past few weeks. He doesn't even see a point in denying it anymore, so he nods tiredly. What does it matter, anyway? He'll probably have to get surgery in a few weeks at most, and that will be almost impossible to hide.

"I had my suspicions," Matsumoto says, sounding strangely solemn. "A cousin of mine had it once. Her coughing sounded almost exactly the same."

"I see," Takumi says tonelessly. He doesn't know what else to say. Whether that cousin got over her feelings or got them reciprocated. Whether she had been in love with someone completely unattainable to her. He wants to ask those questions, but he knows they are far too intrusive.

Which is why it startles him when Matsumoto asks next, "Do you know who it is?"

Takumi shakes his head no. He has a lingering suspicion because too many things are adding up, but telling anyone about that would be far more shameful than just having people know that he has Hanahaki.

He does not like the long, pensive look that Matsumoto gives him. He does not like it at all.

"You know that nobody here will judge you or exclude you for having Hanahaki, right? Least of all Ryousuke-san," Matsumoto says seriously.

Takumi very strongly doubts the part about the not judging. Street racers as a whole, he has learned, tend to be very judgemental people. Keisuke especially is about the _most_ judgemental person Takumi knows, and he honestly doubts that Ryousuke is much different even if he shows it less. There will definitely be some kind of judgement involved, especially if it comes out that he –

"Do you think it's Ryousuke-san?" Matsumoto suddenly asks, and Takumi promptly chokes on his own spit. His body is wracked by uncontrollable coughs that for once aren't flower-related but hurt just as much with how sore everything is.

"Don't make that kind of joke," Takumi finally chokes out.

"I was being serious."

When Takumi (red in the face and panicking slightly at this point) glances at him, he still looks so unnervingly serious. And Takumi just wonders – how? And: What? What makes Matsumoto suspect that?

Before the awkward silence has the chance to drag on for too long, the mechanic speaks up again. "I'm sorry. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I suppose that was an insensitive question."

"It's fine," Takumi says, waving it off as if it really didn't bother him that much. Unfortunately, though, Matsumoto's suspicion aligns with his own.

It is common consensus that spending time around the recipient of one's unrequited feelings worsened one's condition. And is it really coincidental that Takumi always seems to have the worst coughing fits when he's with Project.D?

He hopes so badly that it isn't the truth.

"Either way," Matsumoto interrupts his thoughts, "I hope you'll get better soon."

Takumi nods silently and stares ahead through the windshield. Before him lays the parking lot, illuminated by a few streetlamps. In one of the circles of light, Ryousuke and Keisuke are standing and talking to each other.

Takumi swallows against the foreboding tickle in his throat.

A day has passed since that incredibly uncomfortable conversation with Matsumoto, which isn't nearly enough time for Takumi to get used to the knowledge that his secret is out.

But despite the mechanic giving him worried looks from time to time when he thinks Takumi isn't noticing, he has not heard about the topic from other members of the team. He supposes that Matsumoto settled for not telling anyone, which Takumi would be greatly thankful for if it was true.

He isn't entirely sure why he still insists on hiding his condition. Maybe he wants to live a few more weeks in this state of normalcy that he has built up for himself. He likes the rest of the team, and he likes that he can feel like an equal to them – well, sometimes. Either way, he doesn't want to damage it all just yet. He still isn't coughing up full blossoms or spitting blood, so he can tell himself that he still has time until he has to go get surgery that will definitely put him out of commission for a while.

Maybe he's just dreading the moment too much when he will have to reveal that to Ryousuke.

Said man seems to be keeping an eye on him already, more than he usually did, anyway. Really, it's probably dumb to think that someone like him wouldn't be able to figure it out very quickly. At least Takumi thinks that Ryousuke has him long figured out.

He evades the other's eyes and goes to hide away inside the Eight-Six, pretty much the only place lately where he still feels somewhat secure.

"Oi. Fujiwara."

Takumi flinches, and thinks that he really needs to stop letting Keisuke startle him that often. He feels like he can't be blamed this time, though. The last time Keisuke talked to him was over a week ago, when everything started to really go downhill. No pun intended.

He acknowledges Keisuke's presence by looking his way, but he waits for the other to say something first. Takumi's voice is still painfully rough, so he tries to use it sparingly.

"We need to talk."

No greeting, no anything. Getting straight to the point, which wasn't exactly unusual for Keisuke.

Takumi motions for him to go ahead, but Keisuke shakes his head.

"Not here." He looks around the parking lot, then at Takumi. "Come with me for a moment?"

Takumi looks back at him, uncomprehending. He shrugs and says, "Sure."

Although Keisuke radiates frustration in waves, Takumi believes to see a hint of relief in the other's expression. He wonders what Keisuke wants from him that can't wait and warrants going somewhere secluded. Maybe he has to expect an argument and to be shouted at again because his health and times still haven't improved.

Keisuke leads him behind one of the vans where the others can't see them, and when Takumi looks at him again, there's this sort of fiery glint in his eyes. Takumi fully expects to be shouted at. Maybe even punched, although Keisuke probably won't dare to do that as long as his brother is around, no matter how pissed he might be at Takumi.

Instead, Keisuke just _stares_ at him for a moment, as if he were uncertain about something. Takumi sees his fingers twitch and clench and unclench, and he briefly catches himself wondering whether he should be bracing for a punch anyway.

Instead: "You have Hanahaki, don't you?"

Keisuke's voice sounds surprisingly even given the fact that all his body language tells Takumi he's angry. Takumi's stomach sinks. He didn't expect everyone would find out so quickly, and while Matsumoto knowing is already bad enough, having Keisuke be aware of the exact nature of his condition is far more horrifying.

So Takumi tries to deny and to save the shred of respect that the other hopefully has for him.

"Why would you think that?"

"I'm not fucking _stupid_ , Fujiwara."

There it finally is, the anger that Takumi already picked up on. Being met with it feels a bit like the first time they had a proper conversation with each other – if Keisuke cussing him out in the middle of the night on a deserted stretch of road could be counted as 'proper.'

"I got suspicious when I saw that petal on you. It all adds up too well. Did you really think we wouldn't find out eventually? What are you even trying to achieve by keeping it secret?"

Keisuke's voice is steadily getting louder with every sentence, and Takumi grits his teeth against the desire to shout back at him. Not that he even could with his current damaged voice. And after all, one realisation steals his breath away: If Keisuke knows, Ryousuke most likely does, too.

It seems like Takumi should better get used to the thought of his secret being exposed to the world very quickly. He isn't ready for that just yet –

"Why aren't you fucking saying anything?!"

Keisuke's voice tears him out of his stupor. It still sounds angry, but more than that, Takumi believes to hear some sort of desperation in there. He isn't sure what for.

"What would _you_ do?" he asks, desperate for an answer himself. "What would you do if you had Hanahaki? Just let everyone know?"

_'Let everyone know that you're suffering for the pathetic reason of having feelings for someone who doesn't, and never will, love you back?'_

Keisuke grits his teeth. "I'd at least let the people who depend on me know."

Of course he would, Takumi thinks grimly. He can't imagine someone as proud as Keisuke, with a reputation to lose, even, admit to anyone that he is afflicted by something as shameful and embarrassing as Hanahaki.

Then again, would Keisuke even ever get into that kind of situation where he felt unrequited love for someone? Who wouldn't immediately throw themselves at his feet? He and his brother could probably take their pick if they wanted to.

"It doesn't matter," Takumi says, grimacing at the tickle in his throat that comes at the thought of Ryousuke. "I'll get over it and it will be fine. You don't have to worry about me dragging down the team."

Keisuke stares at him, successfully silenced for a moment. When he speaks up again, his voice is rough and cutting.

"Have you even tried confessing first?"

It sounds way too much like an accusation. Takumi can't bring himself to meet Keisuke's eyes anymore. What would he say if he knew that his much-disliked rival had caught feelings for his brother of all people? Takumi can't think of any scenario in which that would end well for anyone, much less himself.

"It's never going to happen," he finds himself saying. He wonders whether the bitter taste on his tongue comes from the petals and the blood in his throat.

Keisuke looks shocked, as if he just couldn't imagine that scenario. Suddenly, something flashes in his eyes.

"Fujiwara, you…"

He doesn't finish the sentence. Takumi barely has time to start raising his hands to defend himself when the other already lunges at him.

But instead of a punch, Takumi feels Keisuke's lips on his own.

The world, including himself, freezes for a moment. Keisuke, the only thing that doesn't seem frozen, grabs Takumi's shoulders and pulls him a bit closer. Both the grip on his shoulders and the kiss are surprisingly gentle, if feeling somewhat desperate.

 _'Weird,'_ Takumi dimly finds himself thinking, _'I always thought he's a biter.'_

Then the world unfreezes again and everything that's currently happening catches up to him. He suddenly becomes painfully aware of the lips meeting his own, lips that belong to _Keisuke_.

He takes an almost panicked step backwards until his back hits the side of the van, dislodging Keisuke's lips from his own. His hands push Keisuke's hands off his shoulders.

"What are you _doing?!"_ Takumi hears himself croak with his broken voice.

Keisuke stares at him wide-eyed almost as if _he_ were the one most shocked about the turn of events. For a short moment he looks as if he wants to reach out for Takumi again, but then his hands drop to his sides.

"I thought you'd -" he begins, and Takumi thinks it's not fair that _he_ can sound so startled and betrayed in this situation.

Then Keisuke slightly shakes his head and takes a small step backwards.

"I'm sorry. Shit, Fujiwara, I'm sorry. I thought that maybe – Shit. I shouldn't have done this."

He runs a hand through his hair. "Look, if it's possible in any way, let's both just forget about what happened, yeah? Let's never speak of this again."

Takumi, who instinctively raised a hand to his lips to feel where Keisuke's had been moments ago, only stares at him. How can he kiss him and then say something like that as if it's nothing? Takumi has been kissed before, sure, but never by a man (much less a teammate and rival and hopefully-friend) and never with that much desperation behind it.

Normally, if something like this would have happened and someone kissed him without warning or permission only to ask him to pretend nothing had happened, Takumi would have given that person a piece of his mind. He's about to do the same with Keisuke, but something about the look on his face stops him.

He looks somewhat frustrated, somewhat pained, and he's averting his eyes. It's pretty much the opposite of what Takumi is used to from him, so much so that it startles him right out of the desire to shout at Keisuke with as much of a voice he still had.

"I know this is the worst possible moment and I probably don't have the right to tell you what to do, but can I ask you for something?" Keisuke asks, still looking somewhere else.

"…What is it?"

Keisuke clenches and unclenches his fists and bites his lip before answering.

"At least try telling hi- the person. Okay? Even if it doesn't work out. At least you'll have that off your chest."

He laughs, but it sounds humourless. Takumi is sure that he didn't mishear the other's little slip-up, but he doesn't get much time to dwell on it.

"Keisuke? Fujiwara? Where are you?"

Ryousuke's voice from the other side of the van startles both of them. Takumi sees Keisuke practically flinch before gathering himself, quickly putting on a brave face and stepping out from their secluded spot.

Takumi searches for another way out that makes it less obvious that they were alone together, but he can't come up with anything that doesn't make them seem even more suspicious. He quickly follows after Keisuke.

Being met with one of Ryousuke's signature searching looks is almost unbearable after what just happened minutes ago.

It's admirable, Takumi thinks, how well Keisuke has his expression under control despite everything. He probably has experience weathering his brother's stare.

"Did you want something?"

"Yes," Ryousuke finally says after letting his eyes wander between his brother and Takumi a few times. "I was looking for you because we are done with the setups. You two can make your next runs."

Before he even fully finished speaking, Keisuke is already walking towards his car and bringing a distance between himself and Takumi. His somewhat forceful steps betray that his outward calmness is faked.

Although Takumi is still angry and confused, he suddenly also feels sorry for Keisuke. He wonders what the other had been meaning to say with his actions, and afterwards, too.

Maybe it had been unfair to assume that Keisuke would never be able to empathise with the kind of thing Takumi was currently suffering through. For that one moment before he turned around to face his brother, his mask slipped, and Takumi saw his dejected expression. It sent a pang through his own heart.

After all, he doesn't dislike Keisuke. Even in the beginning when Keisuke was so cold and dismissive towards him, Takumi only wanted to get along with him and regain that feeling of connection they shared when Keisuke asked him to join his brother's new team.

It seems like Keisuke wanted the same, although… differently.

Really, Takumi feels almost sorry that the flowers aren't for him.

Keisuke doesn't talk to him anymore after that, which hurts a lot more than it should.

Takumi notices how breathing now becomes difficult even when he is sitting still. He tires more easily, too. He sits away to the side sometimes to catch his breath and rest a bit after coughing his lungs out.

One of those times, he is too concentrated on inhaling and exhaling that he doesn't hear the steps or notice the person approaching until they sit down on the guardrail next to him, almost startling him into a new coughing fit.

He manages to force it down and turn it into a pathetic-sounding raspy intake of breath as he stares at Ryousuke's serious expression.

"I'm worried about you, Fujiwara."

More out of reflex than anything else, Takumi asks him why.

Ryousuke furrows his brows as if reacting to a particularly unfunny joke.

"It's quite obvious that you aren't feeling well," he says, and Takumi doesn't have the heart to tell him that he misunderstood the question. Takumi was well-aware of how obvious his illness had become. No, the question escaped him because he wants to know why Ryousuke would feel any worry for him in the first place, and why he would choose a private moment to tell him so.

But he supposes that questioning Ryousuke's intentions was stupid. If he as the leader didn't bother keeping an eye the health of the people on his team, it would probably be bound for failure from the beginning. Ryousuke wouldn't make a mistake like that.

That made it all the more embarrassing for Takumi to be at this point right now because he feels like it is him who made a grave mistake and jeopardized the Project Ryousuke poured so much of his time into. From a rational perspective, Takumi knows that developing feelings for someone couldn't be his fault, but a persistent voice keeps telling him that he's a failure because of it, anyway.

"I suppose you were hoping for it to go away on its own?" Ryousuke asks him, and Takumi nods miserably.

"It isn't going away," he mumbles. He lowers his eyes, unable to look at Ryousuke's face any longer. "I'm sorry."

The sudden sensation of a hand on his back makes him jolt a little.

He can't help it; he looks up again.

"It's not your fault," Ryousuke says and echoes what the rational part of Takumi's brain is still trying to get him to understand. The rational part of his brain however has nothing on Ryousuke telling him the same thing.

Guardedly, Takumi asks, "Aren't you… disgusted? Or angry?"

Ryousuke's expression becomes tense only for the fraction of a second, but Takumi still notices.

"The Hanahaki disease is not contagious, and I've seen it before," the other says calmly, logically. "As for your second question… That answer is also No. I only wish you had told me sooner. Or at all."

Takumi is certain that he can hear a hint of accusation in Ryousuke's voice. He averts his eyes again and finds that tickle in his throat returning even as he strains to look at anything that isn't the man next to him. Unfortunately, that doesn't do much. Especially not with the warm hand still placed right below his shoulder blades.

"I'm sorry," he rasps again before being unable to because of the cough that forces its way outside. Along with it come the petals.

As he doubles over, Takumi tells himself that he needs to get this under control immediately because _Ryousuke is sitting right there next to him_ , but somehow that knowledge only makes it worse. The other has meanwhile started moving his hand, rubbing Takumi's back in a gesture of comfort. Takumi wants to beg him to stop or perhaps the opposite of that, but it doesn't matter either way because he can't get out any words between all the petals.

And _oh,_ thinks Takumi as he looks down at his palms with which he is futilely trying to catch all of them, _now there are blossoms, too._

They are silky and white, with frilly orange trumpets in the middle that are framed by the surrounding six petals. Takumi watches in despair as more of them tumble out of his mouth. His throat burns like fire.

"Try to take deep breaths. Panic makes it worse."

Ryousuke's voice reaches him through the haze, and he tries to do as he says: It's not easy, not with how hyper-aware he is of every sensation. He almost believes he can feel the flowers growing, straining towards the sunlight that they can only reach by killing him.

Ryousuke is probably right: He is panicking.

"Deep breaths, Fujiwara."

Takumi listens to Ryousuke's voice and heaves in a bit of air, breathes it out again accompanied by three more petals.

"That's it," Ryousuke says, still rubbing his back, "It's becoming less already. Just continue taking deep breaths until the coughing stops."

The only sound after that is Takumi's own wheezing breaths. Despite his predicament, he now feels glad that it's Ryousuke who's here with him. Even though his sheer presence worsens the condition, Takumi slowly finds himself relaxing.

"How long has this been going on?" Ryousuke asks strictly, plucking one of the blossoms out of Takumi's hands and inspecting it.

Takumi thinks about it. It's hard to pin down exactly when it started.

"Two months, maybe?" he finally says… or rather, whispers.

He _feels_ Ryousuke's serious expression rather than seeing it.

"Hanahaki disease is not to be trifled with. You often have trouble breathing now, don't you?"

Ryousuke let his voice fall into what could only be called a professional tone: Stern and calm. But instead of calming Takumi, it only heightens his anxiousness. Truthfully, he nods.

Ryousuke rises to his feet, his hand finally leaving Takumi's back.

"I should get you to a hospital as soon as possible," he says, a hint of rarely-heard urgency in his voice. "Come with me."

"Wait," Takumi rasps. "Right now?" He helplessly gestures towards his car and towards where the rest of the team must be obscured from both their views by the back of a maintenance building.

"Right now," Ryousuke affirms. "I wouldn't want to wait until you're struggling for air at all times. I must wonder why you were willing to wait this long at all, even when you were hoping that it would pass on its own."

He pauses.

"I assume that you didn't attempt confessing?"

Takumi mutely shakes his head, staring at the blossom that Ryousuke is still holding in his hands. He thinks about what happened with Keisuke and what he asked him to do – but he can't. He can't just confess. Ryousuke probably has his fair share of unwanted suitors already, and Takumi doesn't want to join their ranks.

_'A bit too late for that, though; isn't it?'_

"It's the only recommendation I can give you," Ryousuke says. "After getting surgery, of course."

When Takumi says nothing, he adds, "A rejection helps, too. It can lead to the feelings diminishing of their own."

"I don't think it will help," Takumi mumbles.

"Are you scared of rejection?"

Startled, Takumi glances up at Ryousuke, who returns the gaze calmly.

"I- Well-" He bites his lip. "It's not just the rejection."

A renewed cough makes its way past his lips. It's a scenario from his nightmares – Ryousuke declaring that Takumi can't be part of the team anymore if he can't keep his distance. Disgust reflected in his expression, in the expressions of the entire team, actually.

Only Keisuke has disappeared from that scenario: The dejected expression Takumi saw that day is a nightmare of its own. He suddenly wonders if Ryousuke knew about his brother's preferences and what had transpired between him and Takumi.

To his immense surprise, Ryousuke sits back down next to him. Has he already given up on trying to get him to go to the hospital?

"These are narcissus," Ryousuke says, holding up the blossom in his hand. "Do you know their meaning?"

Takumi is taken aback by both his pensive tone and the change of topic. "Yeah," he stutters, "They mean- I think- Uh, unrequited love and new beginnings? The book called them daffodils, though."

He feels his face heat up at the memory of the other meanings: respect, chivalry, yearning to have your affection returned… Maybe the old folktales were not as full of crap as Takumi initially thought.

Ryousuke smiles. "Ah, so you did some research. Daffodil is another name for them."

Takumi is so transfixed by the way Ryousuke brushes his fingers over the flower's petals that he almost forgets to listen when the other speaks on.

"Their other name comes from an ancient Greek myth. A young man named Narcissus who falls in love with his own reflection."

Takumi blinks, mind catching up to what Ryousuke just told him. "What happens to him after that?"

"He dies," Ryousuke says, smile turning cynical. "The sources vary on the details. Some say he drowns trying to embrace his reflection in the water, others say that he withers away knowing that his love can never be returned. After his death, he is transformed into the first narcissus flower."

"…That's not a very nice myth," Takumi mumbles.

"No," Ryousuke agrees, "Not particularly nice. A lot of myths are like that. But some call Narcissus the very first victim of Hanahaki."

Takumi remains silent for a moment. It sure is interesting to know how other cultures explain the origins of Hanahaki, but it doesn't do anything for how he is feeling right now.

"Why are you telling me this?"

Ryousuke directs his gaze away from the blossom and back at Takumi. He looks both curious and strangely wistful at the same time.

"Maybe the narcissus mean that the recipient of your affection is too occupied with themselves to notice your feelings. You should tell them. Not every story ends like a Greek myth."

Takumi's breath catches in his throat as Ryousuke inches closer and raises a hand to his face. It gently comes to rest on his cheek. Takumi can hear his own heartbeat hammering in his ears.

"Ryousuke-san…?" he asks, staring wide-eyed at the other. Ryousuke's expression still holds that wistful curiosity.

"Is my assumption correct?"

A little bit of the earlier panic rears its head inside Takumi's chest. It's never easy to read Ryousuke's intentions, so the answer to the question doesn't come easily at all.

Ryousuke lets his hand stay where it is even as Takumi leans a bit closer, only looking at him with intent eyes. Takumi decides that no matter what, the other probably knows the truth already. Otherwise Takumi would have immediately shaken off that hand and brought some distance between them, and Ryosuke looks like he is all too aware of that.

"I… suppose," Takumi says quietly. "Is it that obvious?"

"No. I followed a whim, to be honest." Ryousuke starts to smile faintly. "I suppose that part of it was my own wish. I actually had been wondering whether you had picked up on it by now."

"Eh…?"

"Others have," Ryousuke says, glancing meaningfully in the direction where the rest of the team is probably wondering by now where the two of them have gone.

Takumi's mind blanks for a moment. Ryousuke likes him? Others know? That was a bit too much at once for one moment.

"To be fair, they had lots of time to notice. It's not exactly a secret anymore that I favour you in a certain way," Ryousuke continues as if oblivious to Takumi's mental struggle. "I suppose it has been a few months since I became aware of it myself. Last December, maybe?"

"Hold on," Takumi bursts out. "You knew it for months?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you let me know?" he asks, a small feeling of betrayal bleeding into his voice. To think that he might have been able to avoid all this…

Ryousuke laughs quietly. "Like I said, I thought I was being obvious. I assumed you weren't interested."

That quiets Takumi's disappointment down again. How stupid of him. Ryosuke probably had the same inhibitions that stopped him from being straightforward, too.

"…I'm sorry for being dense," he mumbles, cheeks burning.

This time, Ryousuke's laughter is louder and more honest. Takumi likes the sound even if technically, he is the one being laughed at right now.

Flustered, he reassures himself that nobody is around to watch, and leans a bit closer.

"Would you mind?" he asks carefully, lips only a few centimeters away from Ryousuke's. That does stop the other's laughter.

"Not at all," Ryousuke says and closes the distance.

When they part again, Takumi is a little out of breath, although for once not because of any flowers. The itch in his throat is gone.

"Thank you, Ryousuke-san," he says.

Ryousuke hums, looking like he is still enjoying the afterglow of their kiss.

Takumi looks down at the sad pile of damp petals at their feet. Maybe he should pick them up and throw them away. No more daffodils, narcissus, whatever.

But before he can get to that, he finally notices the detail that has eluded him earlier: There are only white petals. The narrow, pointy, orange and blue strelitzia petals are missing completely from the little pile. Takumi shoves the topmost petals aside with the tip of his shoe, but still: The only orange comes from the trumpets of the daffodils.

No strelitzia.

"Huh," he murmurs, "This is weird."

Ryousuke shoots him a questioning look, but Takumi barely notices. Since when were there only daffodils? He didn't imagine the other petals, right?

No. Matsumoto had seen them, too. There had been strelitzia petals, but now they were gone. And now that he was thinking about it, there had been only daffodils the last few times Takumi coughed up petals.

A dawning suspicion makes him turn towards Ryousuke.

"Is it possible to have Hanahaki because of two different people at the same time?"

Ryousuke looks taken aback and a bit suspicious, but he answers promptly. "I've heard of cases like that, though there would usually be multiple kinds of flowers."

Takumi jumps to his feet. "I need to go talk to Keisuke-san!"

He makes two steps before stopping again because he remembers that Ryousuke probably doesn't know what's going on – or only part of it, at least. When he turns around, however, Ryousuke's expression is more curious than confused.

"You coughed up more than one kind of flowers?" he asks seriously, sounding a lot calmer than Takumi probably would in this kind of situation.

"Yeah," Takumi admits, looking down at the pile of petals again. "The daffodils were there from the beginning. Later there were also strelitzia petals – these pointy, orange things. And they stopped coming after… uh…"

Takumi scratches the back of his head and blushes, unsure of how to explain.

"I guess, uh, Keisuke-san sort of… confessed to me?"

Ryousuke looks startled. "He did what?"

"Well," Takumi laughs uncertainly, "He, uh, kinda kissed me, actually. And I didn't think I was feeling anything for him then, so I guess I rejected him. But apparently those petals stopped coming after that, and I think I maybe actually like him, too?"

He pauses, re-thinking what he just said.

Oh, no. He supposes that was right. He had been so focused on what Matsumoto had said before that, about Ryousuke, that he didn't even think about the possibility that-

"Oh, crap," he says tonelessly, feeling mortified. "I just told you all that, didn't I."

In any other situation, he probably would have laughed a bit at Ryousuke's expression. The other looks like he had been completely blindsided by this turn of events, and something like that seemed very rare for him.

He has himself back under control pretty quickly, though.

"You sure did," he says, looking… amused? "I certainly didn't expect any of this, but I suppose that is how life goes sometimes. But now that I think about it, Keisuke has been paying a lot of attention to you lately… I thought it was just his competitiveness, though those two things do tend to play into one another…"

His voice and expression turn thoughtful. "It also explains why Keisuke has been acting so strangely lately."

"Acting strangely…?" Takumi echoes weakly, suddenly far too exhausted to keep up with all of this.

Ryousuke looks at him, expression serious.

"He's been quite withdrawn and doesn't talk to me as often. I think you should go and sort it out with him."

Takumi bites his lip and looks back at Ryousuke, the man he's just kissed and the one who returns his feelings.

"Is it really fine with you?"

Ryousuke nods decisively. "He at least deserves to know what you just told me; don't you think? That you like him does not mean that my feelings are now unrequited." He smiles that little half-smile of his. "I certainly hope so, at least."

"Of course," Takumi says, flustered beyond relief. "I wasn't pretending."

"Then go," Ryousuke urges, "Before we discuss how any of this will proceed, you need to sort this situation out with him."

Takumi bites his lip again and nods.

"Thank you," he says, and hurries off to find Keisuke, knowing that the situation with the daffodils has been resolved. Now he has to work out what to do about those other flowers.

He finds Keisuke only because he already knows that the other always retreats to his car when he's not currently engaged in conversation with anyone.

But while the place where he finds the other doesn't surprise Takumi, the state he finds him in certainly does.

Keisuke sits not in the FD, but behind it on the ground as if he doesn't actually want anyone to find him.

He jumps when Takumi tentatively calls out his name.

"Damn it, Fujiwara! Could you maybe try not sneaking up on me next time?" He has apparently regained his abrasiveness since last time. His voice sounds rougher than usual, and Takumi sees him quickly brush something off his pants that's small and yellow.

_Oh._

"Keisuke-san…?"

"Can you also say something else?" Keisuke spits out, visibly flustered. Takumi straight-up ignores his anger.

"Are those… petals…?"

The deep glare that is sent his way could knock a man out of his shoes, but Takumi has long gotten used to Keisuke's furious looks.

"If you've come here to have a little pity party," Keisuke rasps, "you can fuck right off."

"I wasn't going to do that," Takumi says.

"You better not," Keisuke says, but his shoulders relax a little. Takumi interprets that as a sign that it's safe to sit down next to him now. In doing so, he gets a closer look at the petals: Their shape is pretty recognisable even to him. They are rose petals.

Keisuke sighs. Takumi recognises the strained sound that comes with blocked lungs.

"You can probably imagine what's going on."

Takumi nods slowly, but Keisuke doesn't even notice. He keeps talking.

"That's just fuckin' great, isn't it? Just my luck. I tell you to confess to get rid of your Hanahaki, and now here I am. Having confessed and getting Hanahaki because of it."

He laughs once, a bitter bellow that turns into a cough. A few petals spill out into his lap.

"It did work, though," Takumi tries once Keisuke has regained his breath.

"Huh?" Keisuke shoots him a wary look before staring ahead again. "Oh. I see. Well, that's good for you, Fujiwara. What did aniki say?"

Takumi, growing uncomfortable with Keisuke's flat tone, decides to go straight ahead.

"He said, among other things, that I should sort this out with you."

Keisuke glances at him out of the corner of his eye. "Why the fuck would he say that? I know he's smitten with you. It's obvious. What is there to sort out with me? He should just appreciate that fuckton of luck he always has."

"Stop it already," Takumi hisses, finally gaining Keisuke's full surprised attention. "Let me talk. Do you know what happened to me? I had _two_ kinds of flowers in my lungs. One of them went away a few minutes ago, but the other was gone after…"

He falters, still finding it difficult to say frankly what happened between the two of them. Thankfully, Keisuke at least already knew the details.

"It was for me?" Keisuke says, strangely quiet.

"Yeah," Takumi says, falling into the same careful tone. "I'm pretty sure it was. I didn't know it was possible back then, so I didn't consider that maybe… I…"

He takes a deep breath, blessedly free of petals, to steel himself for confessing to this a second time.

"…that maybe I like you, too."

Keisuke gapes at him, which is almost as funny as Ryousuke's startled expression earlier.

"Seriously?!" he says once he has regained his words. Then he laughs again, in disbelief. "I thought you hated me."

Takumi furrows his brows. "Hate you? Why?"

"Because I was being a total douchebag to you," Keisuke says. "I mean, I went in and kissed you like that."

"Oh, yeah." Takumi scratches the back of his head. "To be honest, I was pretty angry about that."

"I figured. Sorry, again. I suppose that was a bit of a dick move on my part."

"Yeah," Takumi says, "Yeah, it was."

Keisuke huffs out a quiet breath of laughter. "This is what I like about you," he mumbles, but doesn't elaborate even as Takumi waits for him to do so.

"What about aniki, though?" he suddenly asks. "Don't you tell me that you just left him behind. If you did that, I have a reason to be angry at you instead."

Takumi allows himself to roll his eyes a little, now that the situation is less dire.

"He said I should go, remember? I told him all this, too."

Keisuke looks at him in disbelief. "You told him that you're also into me? After confessing to him?"

"Uh… something like that, yeah. I noticed the other petals weren't there, so I just sort of told him about the situation."

Keisuke pales. "He'll never let either of us live that down."

"Oh."

Takumi watches Keisuke lean his head back against the side of his car and take a deep breath. No cough follows.

"Sometimes I think he's a bit insane," Keisuke says, "But he's also the best brother one could wish for." He grins into the evening sky. "And for that, I'll let him make fun of me for this mess for as long as he wants. By the way-"

He turns to look at Takumi.

"What about we repeat that stunt from last time?"

"You want to kiss me?"

"More than once," Keisuke says seriously. "But ideally, we'll have more than enough time for that in the future."

"Sure," Takumi says, and a blink of an eye later Keisuke's lips crash into his as if the other's been starved from it for the longest time.

"By the way," Keisuke says in one of the small breaks in-between kisses, "What kind of flower did you cough out because of me? Call it morbid curiosity."

"A bird of paradise flower," Takumi says, a bit out of breath.

"Bird of paradise flower? Never heard of that."

Takumi finds himself beginning to smile a little. "They're very flashy and spiky."

"Smartass," Keisuke says with a grin in his voice and leans down to kiss him again.

When they later return to where the rest of the team is standing, Ryousuke is already waiting for them with a meaningful smile upon seeing them flustered and light-headed.

"Oh no," Keisuke mumbles next to Takumi, but the latter is too busy being happy for Ryousuke's smug expression to bother him.

He could get used to this, he thinks. Especially because his windedness is not caused by petals this time.

**Author's Note:**

> Please validate me. I wrote this entire thing instead of working on my bachelor thesis. If the inspiration hits, I sits, says my brain. :') 
> 
> Also: When everything else fails, Depeche Mode comes to the rescue with a title. You'll probably see me do that more often in the future.


End file.
